Stupid, Stupid Zoe

Well smart Zoe got 100 on the stats exam part one. We'll see what happens with part two. But stupid Zoe, well stupid Zoe did something she definitely shouldn't have done. Something she definitely knew was a bad idea. I had taken Arnie off my IM list when we stopped speaking but I missed him and I put him back on and I saw him online today and I said hi. I am not sure what I thought would happen. I guess I know what I hoped would happen. I think I wanted to just go down there over break and have a week of sleeping with him and just having fun and I guess then I would come back to NY and be devastated? I can't imagine that it would get it out of my system. A week of great sex and the kind of intimacy we have together and then he stays there and sleeps with whoever is down there and I come back to NY and cry? I thought I wasn't that kind of self destructive anymore. Not that he invited me, not that we had more than a superficial conversation which tied my stomach in knots until I sat down to take my test and was totally distracted by it. I went to dinner after my final (it was everyone else's last final) with the girls in my class and I had a really great time and then I spoke to Sarah and Holden and now I am flirting with some cute guy on Jdate so I am feeling a lot better. Hopefully I will get a few days with Lilah someplace warm over my birrthday weekend and some other fun time over break and not just research work.