once you get going...
Ways that I have understood the secondary gains of being overweight in the past- although I dont think any of them are relevant now- but what do I know?
1- Control- taking control over my life from my parents- particularly my dad. This was something that I could control (conventional ED theory)- at this point I feel like I think I have control over my life- well to the extent that you can have control over a life that is financed by other people. I am living according to my values and following my own path. Maybe it is because I am not entirely honest with my parents about how I live my life- this is something I can't hide from them even if i lie to them.
2- Esteem- I wanted a buffer, something to blame if people didn't like me- but I dont think I need that anymore. I think I feel a lot better about myself and I dont think I expect people to reject me anymore. I no longer try to please people to keep them around- I no longer expect them to need to be bought.
3- Scapegoat- I wasn't ready to get married for various reasons so I created a barrier to intimacy and to acceptance by men. I think I am ready to be in a relationship and I think I am ready for real intimacy- so I shouldn't need this barrier.
4-Stress release- bulimia was a type of stress release- a way to purge all this stress, pressure and bad feelings- but now I am not purging- I was tempted yesterday after the great chocolate gorge of '07 but I didn't and I haven't in a long while.
1- Control- taking control over my life from my parents- particularly my dad. This was something that I could control (conventional ED theory)- at this point I feel like I think I have control over my life- well to the extent that you can have control over a life that is financed by other people. I am living according to my values and following my own path. Maybe it is because I am not entirely honest with my parents about how I live my life- this is something I can't hide from them even if i lie to them.
2- Esteem- I wanted a buffer, something to blame if people didn't like me- but I dont think I need that anymore. I think I feel a lot better about myself and I dont think I expect people to reject me anymore. I no longer try to please people to keep them around- I no longer expect them to need to be bought.
3- Scapegoat- I wasn't ready to get married for various reasons so I created a barrier to intimacy and to acceptance by men. I think I am ready to be in a relationship and I think I am ready for real intimacy- so I shouldn't need this barrier.
4-Stress release- bulimia was a type of stress release- a way to purge all this stress, pressure and bad feelings- but now I am not purging- I was tempted yesterday after the great chocolate gorge of '07 but I didn't and I haven't in a long while.
posted by Zoe at 9:55 AM
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