Not a good sign

If someone would rather go to sleep than talk to you it tends to be a good indication of their lack of excitement or interest. So of course, I would rather go to sleep than talk to Wally and Vinny would prefer sleep over me. I invited Vinny to come rafting this weekend and he says he will see if he can work it out in terms of his schedule but I don't know if he would be coming for the river or to hang out with me. I would be fun if he came and I would like to spend time with him. I don't know if he is disinterested in me or just stressed out because of all the unknowns in his life (I have been there and I know how unsettling it can be) but I think that making excuses for why he might not be calling is lame- if he wanted to talk to me, he would call. I should just walk away- if he wants to see me, he will and if he doesn't make an effort than I didn't lose anything anyway and I will likely just gain time that I might spend ruminating. I don't know what he is thinking and speculating isn't going to get me anywhere. I have so much good in my life, I am going to choose to focus on that. He is smart and intellectually curious and cute and a good kisser but if he isn't interested in me and doesn't think that I am all of those things too it doesn't really matter. I don't know if we have long term potential but I don't need to know. I don't know what we may or may not have at this point all I have to know is if I want to see him again and I do but if he doesn't want to see me then it doesn't matter. I am happy to help him with job related stuff because I know how hard it can be to find a psych position without some help or connections but I think I have done enough at this point. Anymore is just an attempt to be in contact with him or solidify our relationship in some superficial way. I was helping him before I met him so it is not something I was doing because I liked him but at this point it is not my responsibility to find him a job and I have helped him. I can't make finding him a job my new project. I was willing to help him even if he didn't like me, just because I could help but I helped. I have enough projects. I need to focus on them and focus on my life and if he wants to see me, he will. He knows how to find me. I'm not sure what I want from him but I guess if I think there is dating potential I would like to explore that as I have enough friends and I'm done with friends with benefits and I'm done with being friends with a guy that I might have feelings for. Part of me wants to say that if he doesn't want to explore a romantic relationship we can just be friends, I feel like it is the more mature, more generous position but I also know that while I might want to be able to do that, it isn't really good for me and I come first. I learned my lesson from Caleb- the other lesson I learned from Caleb that I need to bear in mind is "you aren't that into him either", I can't get myself all worked about someone who I don't even know if I like and therefore talk myself into liking him, I am just going back to focusing on my friends, family, work, etc and if he wants to see me then I will worry about it, if not, not. I suspect I am WAY overthinking it and investing too much mental energy in someone that I spent one weekend with - forget suspect- I know. so i'm going to sleep and I'm done with all this.