It's all about the talismans

I am a big believer in what I call talismans. They are these facts or images that you hold on to that remind you why you shouldn't go back to someone. Although in most cases you would think that the fact that the person doesn't want you would be reason enough for someone with self-respect. When I finally stopped talking to Caleb what stopped me from calling him when I missed him was the fact that he told me he knew he would hear from me within the month. It was one of the best things he ever did for me. Anytime I missed him or was tempted to call I would remind myself about what he said and it would give me the strength not to call. I might even suspect that is why he did it if I thought that wasn't given him far too much credit. So I was thinking today about Jack, who by all rights I should have stopped thinking of long ago and I realized we had completely different values. So if I am tempted to think about what might have been or contacting him in any way (which I know that by all rights shouldn't be happening) I can "rub" the completely different values and remember that I am better off this way. I think I finally got my talisman for Stephen- he wasn't that nice, he took over a year to call the first time and then called an hour before he wanted to go out on Sunday when all we had arranged was sometime on Sunday and he stopped to talk to someone for 15 minutes on our date without including me in the conversation. Granted, all of these things should have annoyed me at the time but they didn't so now they finally do. All hail the talisman.