Justifying staying home?

how do i feel my pain so i can learn from it? what is the good way to self-soothe as opposed to bad way. Is going out with friends, good. Is it better to try and feel it rather than just ignore it and make myself feel better? Talking about it, thinking about it, feeling it- good?
Going to sleep or drinking - not good- that much I know.
I don't know what is really the best thing to do long term.
I want to just stay in tonight and I am thinking about Myron and sort of just feeling the hurt- is this just being lazy and weak? Should I be forcing myself out? Or is it good to feel it and try to process it rather than just distract myself?
T2GT recommended lit search on attachment and sexual behavior- I hope to do that tomorrow- hopefully I will learn something. Maybe I will read Becoming Attached tonight.
Maybe I will get myself out later for Karaoke with the girls. I am also less inclined to go because I need to get to bank as I have no cash.
I know I am depressed and falling into my pattern of blowing off plans. I know i do this and I recognize what I am doing and know that it isn't an excuse but....