Stop talking about me at these parlor meetings....

It's amazing how I identify with the way our survivor speaker and mental health profession were speaking on Tuesday night. Well not really amazing since that is what makes ita a disorder with a classification and diagnostic criteria. It is not just the symptoms that are shared, it is a shared pathology of disordered thinking. The survivor was talking about doing things in extremes and being clingy and depressed in high school, needing to feel different and feeling alone and different at the same time. She was talking about feeling like no one would love her and about her poor self regard and depression. Stop talking about me!
The mental health professional was talking about living a dual life and looking ok but being miserable and so distant from people. How can you feel close to people when you are so different from who you pretend to be and you aren't telling anyone. How can you not feel alienated if you are walking around with this secret?
I emailed a bunch of the people who are involved with the film project and asked them to write essays to share their experiences. I think it is time to share mine, albeit without my name.