Bedtime
I have been texting with Bernard- he is cute and I think he is into me. He is out of town until sunday and I think I am going to MD on Friday until Monday. Although I shouldn't go if I haven't gotten enough studying done for my exam on Tuesday and i have a bunch of stuff I should be doing for my insurance for my car, my ED movie, BPD research, other volunteer stuff to say nothing of stats exam (part 2) tomorrow. But I really do want to see Lois and Clark and baby supergirl.
Song of the day- Fond Farewell by Elliot Smith (thanks Arnie)- totally my new favorite song. Lilah, send more Elliot Smith please.
Not sure what I think about Bernard- he is really skinny and I dont' love that but I am not sure that I can't get over it. Isn't every girl looking for a guy who weighs less than her? At this point, I guess I will just see how it goes. I enjoy spending time with him and there haven't been any big red flags (is that what our standards have come to?) and it seems like he is a contender (what does that even mean?). I guess we are progressing at a rate that is appropriate for a mature, real (potential) relationship.
I should probably throw out Arnie's contact lenses that are sitting in my bathroom, and I should delete his number from my phone (without resaving it from my missed call log). I guess I should be proud of myself that I really do wish him well and I don't feel the need to mentally denigrate him in order to feel better about him. Other (pathetically) pride worthy facts, i ahve been MUCH nicer to other people in lab and in class. And i guess I should feel good that it wasn't my imagination- he thought we were getter closer too which is why he pulled away before leaving (because he didn't want to get closer- that part doesn't neccesarily make me feel better) but I wasn't in this alone. In some weird way we connected, I think.
At this point I think I am so tired and preoccupied by my pain that I am not sure I can think straight.
Song of the day- Fond Farewell by Elliot Smith (thanks Arnie)- totally my new favorite song. Lilah, send more Elliot Smith please.
Not sure what I think about Bernard- he is really skinny and I dont' love that but I am not sure that I can't get over it. Isn't every girl looking for a guy who weighs less than her? At this point, I guess I will just see how it goes. I enjoy spending time with him and there haven't been any big red flags (is that what our standards have come to?) and it seems like he is a contender (what does that even mean?). I guess we are progressing at a rate that is appropriate for a mature, real (potential) relationship.
I should probably throw out Arnie's contact lenses that are sitting in my bathroom, and I should delete his number from my phone (without resaving it from my missed call log). I guess I should be proud of myself that I really do wish him well and I don't feel the need to mentally denigrate him in order to feel better about him. Other (pathetically) pride worthy facts, i ahve been MUCH nicer to other people in lab and in class. And i guess I should feel good that it wasn't my imagination- he thought we were getter closer too which is why he pulled away before leaving (because he didn't want to get closer- that part doesn't neccesarily make me feel better) but I wasn't in this alone. In some weird way we connected, I think.
At this point I think I am so tired and preoccupied by my pain that I am not sure I can think straight.
posted by Zoe at 12:21 AM
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