Marriage in a religious world

My dad asked me to go with him to a kabbalist today to get a bracha. Initially I agreed and then when I woke up this morning I reneged because i realized that I didn't want to go, which is exactly the reason I gave my dad. My dad went on his own and then called the house and told Sophie that the rabbi wanted to see me and she said she would take me over. (The kabbalist is staying at Alex's brother's house in the neighborhood.) So I got dressed in my long black skirt and tights and a black sweater. My grandmother told me how much she likes it when I dress like this (and I thought I had been dressing to please her all weekend- no jeans, no sweatshirts, i blew my hair and wore lipstick). I go to meet this kabbalist who sends my dad out of the room. I am always concerned when I meet these men that they will be able to see through me and they will tell me that I am not really shomer shabbat or something like that. As usual, my secrets are safe with me. This rabbi tells me that he has good news for me- I will get married but not in America. I will only meet a man in Israel and this man will work and learn and he will fear G-d. At this point I pretty much tuned out and started nodding. He asked me how old I was and when I told him I was 29 he said I would get married in a year and a half (or within a year and a half) - so I'm thinking if I am not getting married for another year and a half I have at least a year to have lots of sex and fun. He like every other kabbalist told me that I must be happy for good things to happen to me. I used to believe that this was due to some prescience on their part, they could see that I had depressive tendencies but now I suspect that this is what they tell everyone. All in all, I was less than moved. Sophie was telling me how everything they have told Alex's brother has come true but I think that might be because Alex's brother believes and looks for corroborating evidence. Part of me wants to believe but I am not sure that I can. Certainly not when he tells me that my husband will learn Torah and fear G-d as I haven't been attracted to a guy like that in years and that doesn't seem to be changing.
When I got home my mom asked me to write up my "resume" so that she could fax it to a woman in the area who tries to set people up. At this point I do things like this for my parents. So I tried to sum myself up in a page and it just said nothing about me. I was sitting there staring at these random facts about me and I was amazed at how poorly it represented me and how it said so little about me. I am really skeptical that someone would be able to look at this sheet of paper and get an accurate idea about who I am and who might be compatible with me.
At this point I just needed to get out of my parents house. I had a lovely weekend with my grandparents and silbings but I needed space. I claimed that I needed to study (which wouldn't have been a bad idea) and I went to lunch with Sarah, the Met with Elle and Jesse and to see Flags of our Fathers with Jesse. (seeing a war film with a military history buff always has its advantages. I am trying to get some work done now and then get a decent night's sleep.
I really need to start DVG diet tomorrow. I swam on Friday and Sat night but I needed to get out of the area this morning and I wanted to be in the car for "wait, wait, don't tell me" on NPR so I didn't go today. Will is dating this girl and it may get serious and I refuse to be fat older spinster sister at his wedding. I am not sure what is going to happen but I dont' anticipate a long courtship or engagement in the event that it works out. I also need to start feeling sexy again especially since I dont have Arnie to help me feel that way. (I know it is kind of paranoid but I got this suspicious feeling that he came in this weekend to pack up more stuff as I know he needs to make a trip like that. I would like to think that he will contact me when he comes in but I'm not sure that he will- I sort of think that he won't let me know that he is coming because he doesn't neccesarily think it is good idea for us to see each other but I am hoping that once he is in town, he won't be able to help himself and he will call me. I know he wouldnt lie to me and I promised that I would always give him the benefit of the doubt- which is easy when you remember who someone is and that you fundamentally know them and know what they will and will not do- but this isn't really lying, it's omission- is it different? Honestly, it is probably just crazy as I have no basis for this suspicion and I think it might be PMS. I was getting annoyed about a lot of things over the weekend that wouldn't usually bother me. In general, I think I am fairly easygoing but I have been getting irritated and I have also been eating like mad (not so much the quantity but closet eating and eating when I am not hungry, in fact eating when I am already full). I was talking to Elle and I was saying that I don't know why I have been getting so angry and how being this way upsets me and then I started counting and I realized I am probably PMSing.
OK I have Sinai work to do and I need to get work done on application essays (which won't happen tonight but I hope will happen this week- I want to get stuff done before the weekend so I can down to MD on Sat night for Pumpkin Chunkin') I have a bunch of jotted down notes about stuff that was flitting through my mind while I was studying - I will try to flesh those thoughts out later tonight or tomorrow.