Day 2 Ramblings
I totally didn't want to get up and go to the lab this morning. But I went- and then our participant cancelled. I stayed until close to 2 and got a bunch of work done but then came home and didn't get anything done. I hope to read a chapter in the Kandel book tonight. I was supposed to meet Joan but I didnt' really want to go up and she didnt' want to come down so we caught up on the phone and rescheduled for Dani's party on Sat night. I guess I feel like fasting is a full-time occupation. It's not that I am so hungry or tired, I have been trying to get to bed earlier to offset going off caffeine for the fast, but not that motivated and I suppose I am using the fast as an excuse. I spent a lot of time today reading people's blogs about their experiences with the lemonade diet. I will see how long I can handle the fast. Sophie asked me if I missed eating, of course I miss eating but I'm not really hungry, I just like eating. Food tastes good.
I was talking to Joan and she was saying that she thinks I am doing better, the weight gain is learned behavior- that sounds right to me. I told her that I dont think my mom is right that I am sabotaging myself. I think Joan is right and I know that T2GT thinks I am doing well and dealing with old issues in a new way. I hope so.
A bunch of people have been blogging about all of the health benefits of the fast. More energy, loss of toxins, loss of cravings- I am hoping that I can release toxins and start a longer term solution with a clean slate. I know that this isn't a lifestyle change- which I need. I know I should take advantage of my parent's offer to pay for a trainer and I have to figure out a way to eat healthy food on a regular basis. If I made moderate changes long ago I would be where i wanted to be with quick fixes that havent' been sustainable. I'm not sure how thin I think I have to be and if I would be OK with my appearance if I thought I was healthy and fit.
My mom was saying that she was trying on my old clothes and they were tight on her and she is at a thin stage now so she knows I can do it. I was talking to Joan about incorporating exercise into my schedule and how tough it is with school. It is tough and school is tiring but I have been wasting a lot of time that I could be using to exercise- although it is really tough in this cold.
Lois and Lilah both told me I have been MIA recently. Have I been hiding out from my friends? I got together with Sarah on Sunday night but I havent' really done anything else in the past week other than family time, "studying" with Lia and dinner with Gracie a week ago.
I was invited to Juliet for lunch on Shabbat and Jesse for dinner- I'm not sure how I am going to maintain the fast and go to bar with SAVI chicks thursday night, dinner and lunch on Shabbat and Dani's party on Sat night but I have to ensure that my dress fits. Although my mom checked with Aunt Karen and she has something that I can borrow if my dress doesn't fit but I would hate to have to wear it.
I was talking to Joan and she was saying that she thinks I am doing better, the weight gain is learned behavior- that sounds right to me. I told her that I dont think my mom is right that I am sabotaging myself. I think Joan is right and I know that T2GT thinks I am doing well and dealing with old issues in a new way. I hope so.
A bunch of people have been blogging about all of the health benefits of the fast. More energy, loss of toxins, loss of cravings- I am hoping that I can release toxins and start a longer term solution with a clean slate. I know that this isn't a lifestyle change- which I need. I know I should take advantage of my parent's offer to pay for a trainer and I have to figure out a way to eat healthy food on a regular basis. If I made moderate changes long ago I would be where i wanted to be with quick fixes that havent' been sustainable. I'm not sure how thin I think I have to be and if I would be OK with my appearance if I thought I was healthy and fit.
My mom was saying that she was trying on my old clothes and they were tight on her and she is at a thin stage now so she knows I can do it. I was talking to Joan about incorporating exercise into my schedule and how tough it is with school. It is tough and school is tiring but I have been wasting a lot of time that I could be using to exercise- although it is really tough in this cold.
Lois and Lilah both told me I have been MIA recently. Have I been hiding out from my friends? I got together with Sarah on Sunday night but I havent' really done anything else in the past week other than family time, "studying" with Lia and dinner with Gracie a week ago.
I was invited to Juliet for lunch on Shabbat and Jesse for dinner- I'm not sure how I am going to maintain the fast and go to bar with SAVI chicks thursday night, dinner and lunch on Shabbat and Dani's party on Sat night but I have to ensure that my dress fits. Although my mom checked with Aunt Karen and she has something that I can borrow if my dress doesn't fit but I would hate to have to wear it.
posted by Zoe at 9:46 PM
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