Later that day...

What do I want? I don’t even feel like I know anymore. Gracie’s mom was friends with Jack (who was one of my best kisses ever) and I decided to text her to see if her mom was still in touch with him and if he was still single and if he is I want his number. I don’t think I want to date him but I think I would hook up with him while I am in town if we are both single. I have been in LA a bunch of times since we met and I am sure that he has been in NY and we have never contacted each other but I feel like maybe hooking up with him isn’t such a bad idea. I am not sure. It might be a really bad idea and I may not be able to be emotionally detached. In any event, I haven’t heard back from Gracie and chances are I won’t hear from her.
I want to the beach with Lilah today. I love walking on the beach. I feel like I am being quiet and withdrawn but I don’t know why.