Good Night and Good Luck (to me)
I have been at home (at my parents) since Thursday night which generally doesn't do anything good for my blogging or my diet. I am going to try to go to bed early so that I can have a productive day tomorrow. I would like to get back to Dr Vitamin guy diet that I have abandoned since Wednesday and get back to exercising (at least I did that today) and I would like to get work done on both research projects and get a pedicure.
I think it's over with RCPAS, I met him tonight for a movie and I just couldnt wait to get home. He kept trying to touch me and I kept moving away (I had told him on the phone earlier today that I needed to slow down). I am not attracted to him, I don't want to spend time with him and I realized that I don't even want to be friends with him. He is perfectly nice and I am perfectly not interested and that is OK. I dont' have to like every guy who likes me, it doesn't mean that I shouldn't like guys who like me but I hope I can find one with whom the liking is mutual. I don't think this is Groucho- maybe it is, maybe I convinced myself I didnt' like him because he liked me but I don't think that is it. Elle told me that he is really eager to get married. I don't think it has anything to do with me, he barely knows me. I realized how hard it is to be with someone whom you aren't interested in. I want to be nice but I don't want to lead him on and I am not actually interested in making conversation with him. I dont' think there is a right way. You can't win here. DWLI 1 went out on a second date with me after he had lost interest and he was perfectly nice and interesting but I could tell that he was no longer into it. He was a total gentleman and tried to show me a nice time and afterwards I had just wished that we hadn't gone out again b/c I felt like it was such a farce but I was dissappointed when DWLI 2 and 3 didnt' even give me another chance. I told Sophie and Alex that I would try to treat RCPAS like I would want to be treated and I don't think that i did, I could say it was too hard but that is just an excuse. I didn't want to and it makes me wonder if i am really nice. I am supposed to be a nice person but at times like this I doubt it. Anyone can be nice when it is easy and they want to, it is the other times that show who you are and what you are made of and I am far from certain that I am made from sterling charachter. I was also thinking about this in terms of being friends with people that I am not actually interested in speaking to or spending time with- is friendship sometimes an act of good will? I will try to check in more tomorrow, hopefully I will be less nauseous from food and well rested and feeling productive (perhaps even a little sore, I miss that. My old trainer told Joan that I was one of his hardest working clients and I kicked A--, I miss a--kicking Zoe)
I think it's over with RCPAS, I met him tonight for a movie and I just couldnt wait to get home. He kept trying to touch me and I kept moving away (I had told him on the phone earlier today that I needed to slow down). I am not attracted to him, I don't want to spend time with him and I realized that I don't even want to be friends with him. He is perfectly nice and I am perfectly not interested and that is OK. I dont' have to like every guy who likes me, it doesn't mean that I shouldn't like guys who like me but I hope I can find one with whom the liking is mutual. I don't think this is Groucho- maybe it is, maybe I convinced myself I didnt' like him because he liked me but I don't think that is it. Elle told me that he is really eager to get married. I don't think it has anything to do with me, he barely knows me. I realized how hard it is to be with someone whom you aren't interested in. I want to be nice but I don't want to lead him on and I am not actually interested in making conversation with him. I dont' think there is a right way. You can't win here. DWLI 1 went out on a second date with me after he had lost interest and he was perfectly nice and interesting but I could tell that he was no longer into it. He was a total gentleman and tried to show me a nice time and afterwards I had just wished that we hadn't gone out again b/c I felt like it was such a farce but I was dissappointed when DWLI 2 and 3 didnt' even give me another chance. I told Sophie and Alex that I would try to treat RCPAS like I would want to be treated and I don't think that i did, I could say it was too hard but that is just an excuse. I didn't want to and it makes me wonder if i am really nice. I am supposed to be a nice person but at times like this I doubt it. Anyone can be nice when it is easy and they want to, it is the other times that show who you are and what you are made of and I am far from certain that I am made from sterling charachter. I was also thinking about this in terms of being friends with people that I am not actually interested in speaking to or spending time with- is friendship sometimes an act of good will? I will try to check in more tomorrow, hopefully I will be less nauseous from food and well rested and feeling productive (perhaps even a little sore, I miss that. My old trainer told Joan that I was one of his hardest working clients and I kicked A--, I miss a--kicking Zoe)
posted by Zoe at 12:17 AM
5 Comments:
Not 'one' of his hardest working clients, 'the' hardest working client.
hola babe
greetings from the H.L.
just a quick thought. there's plenty of wiggle room between not wanting to belong to any club that would have you as a member and becoming a charter member upon first walking in, ya know? Let him grow on you. he may . he may not. i may be atypical but while i may find people physically appealing, i am never really attracted to them until i know them a little better. ya never know darlin. good luck. keep me posted. email me a note for ye old wall?
I appreciate your opinion and I would give him a chance but I was annoyed by him on Sunday night and I haven't heard from him since, which is good. I didn't appreciate him continually touching my leg during the movie after i asked him not to when he did it the first time and after I told him that I needed to slow down. Also I am really not interested in getting to know him better as the more I know, the more disinterested I get. Not a good sign.
fair
fair
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