Not much to report
Totally time for bed. It was time for bed an hour and a half ago. At least I can get some sleep over the weekend- going to Long Beach for Sarah's birthday weekend. I am really excited. Especially since I met Sarah for dinner tonight and it was so good to see her. She looks great, she looks happy and I am really happy about it.
Was a mostly good day, had a semi-productive breakfast meeting for ED project, went to the lab and it was good, I really think that I know a lot of the intricacies of the experiment and I feel like I own the information. I had another meeting this evening that also went pretty well and then I met Sarah. Spoke to RTS on the way home, he is nice but it doesn't seem promising- among other things, he thought I was 24 (the person who set us up didn't know how old I am). Spoke to Simon and my mom and attempted to touch base with Lilah. Had some anxiety about not hearing from RMDPHDS but I think that I am feeling better about it, I think I am calmer. I can still hear from him and even if I don't it's OK, he is not the last man on earth that I will think is worth seeing again. I was thinking today about how lucky I am, I have wonderful friends and I often do fun stuff and have a great time and I am interested in the work I am doing and it is helping me achieve a goal, my parents are able and willing to support me and I love my siblings even if I don't share their values. It's hard to see them disregard my input on certain matters because the know we have different values but I see that they don't love me any less and while it may hurt to see Holden turn to Sophie (he is my boy!!!) I know that I can't have it both ways. I can't expect them to respect the fact that I have my own values and expect them to seek my advice on matters that have any relationship to religion. I am a good person and I do good things and I am starting to remember that I have faith in myself. I can be happy and productive and one day meet someone who is crazy about me, someone I am crazy about too. Until then I can have fun with my friends and pursue my goals. I invited all the girls I like to a girls' night out on August 14th at 9 pm at Bowlmor so that they can meet each other. I feel blessed to know so many great women and I think they should know each other. I really do love my friends and think they are wonderful people and I think they should all meet, a lot of them would like each other and it's always nice to meet more nice people. It is a networking opportunity for Jewish Communal work and for professional stuff and dating and Sabbath meals and also just a nice way to expand your social circle. We'll see if people respond, although it doesn't really matter because I felt good doing it. I also invited some girls that I think really want to meet new people. Maybe this is just another way to try to feel good about myself, or to feel popular or well connected- but I think it isn't about that. If it were about that I would care who showed up and if it looked like I had a lot of friends or who likes me enough to come (basically how I felt about my housewarming party) but I don't' think that I care about that this time. I think I am happy to do it even if only 2 of us are there. Maybe my motivation was off for inviting the people that I thought might get insulted if thy heard about it (perhaps I am flattering myself) or for inviting the people that I thought would appreciate it and want to meet people even if I am not particularly interested in hanging out with them.
Ok now I really have to get to sleep as I still have to wash up and take my vitamins and we are running a subject in the lab tomorrow.
Was a mostly good day, had a semi-productive breakfast meeting for ED project, went to the lab and it was good, I really think that I know a lot of the intricacies of the experiment and I feel like I own the information. I had another meeting this evening that also went pretty well and then I met Sarah. Spoke to RTS on the way home, he is nice but it doesn't seem promising- among other things, he thought I was 24 (the person who set us up didn't know how old I am). Spoke to Simon and my mom and attempted to touch base with Lilah. Had some anxiety about not hearing from RMDPHDS but I think that I am feeling better about it, I think I am calmer. I can still hear from him and even if I don't it's OK, he is not the last man on earth that I will think is worth seeing again. I was thinking today about how lucky I am, I have wonderful friends and I often do fun stuff and have a great time and I am interested in the work I am doing and it is helping me achieve a goal, my parents are able and willing to support me and I love my siblings even if I don't share their values. It's hard to see them disregard my input on certain matters because the know we have different values but I see that they don't love me any less and while it may hurt to see Holden turn to Sophie (he is my boy!!!) I know that I can't have it both ways. I can't expect them to respect the fact that I have my own values and expect them to seek my advice on matters that have any relationship to religion. I am a good person and I do good things and I am starting to remember that I have faith in myself. I can be happy and productive and one day meet someone who is crazy about me, someone I am crazy about too. Until then I can have fun with my friends and pursue my goals. I invited all the girls I like to a girls' night out on August 14th at 9 pm at Bowlmor so that they can meet each other. I feel blessed to know so many great women and I think they should know each other. I really do love my friends and think they are wonderful people and I think they should all meet, a lot of them would like each other and it's always nice to meet more nice people. It is a networking opportunity for Jewish Communal work and for professional stuff and dating and Sabbath meals and also just a nice way to expand your social circle. We'll see if people respond, although it doesn't really matter because I felt good doing it. I also invited some girls that I think really want to meet new people. Maybe this is just another way to try to feel good about myself, or to feel popular or well connected- but I think it isn't about that. If it were about that I would care who showed up and if it looked like I had a lot of friends or who likes me enough to come (basically how I felt about my housewarming party) but I don't' think that I care about that this time. I think I am happy to do it even if only 2 of us are there. Maybe my motivation was off for inviting the people that I thought might get insulted if thy heard about it (perhaps I am flattering myself) or for inviting the people that I thought would appreciate it and want to meet people even if I am not particularly interested in hanging out with them.
Ok now I really have to get to sleep as I still have to wash up and take my vitamins and we are running a subject in the lab tomorrow.
posted by Zoe at 12:59 AM
2 Comments:
Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site. Keep working. Thank you.
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Keep up the good work. thnx!
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