I control my own happiness

Thanks Sarah- i had such a good time with her this weekend. We went to Haley for lunch today and I had such a good, relaxed time with Sally, Benji, Jesse and the others. It was a lot of fun and then Sarah and I walked around downtown. I love this neighborhood. It is good to touch base with all the good things I have in my life. Tonight I started freaking out about applications and I started getting upset that I don't have someone who is really there for me, someone who really loves me and is invested in me. I talked about it with Sarah for a bit and felt a little better and then when I walked her to her car and hugged her goodbye (and made plans to check out Max Brenner's with her later this week) she said "Be Happy!". As I walked back to my apartment I realized that I can choose to be happy. I have all this good stuff in my life and I can choose to focus on it and be happy. I control my own happiness. I can control how I see the world. And I choose to remember how I applied to school last year and I had thought that it was so daunting and it was a lot of work but I did it, I did it on my own. I wrote amazing essays and had a strong application. I know that a lot of applicants already have masters degrees and a lot of it is luck. Many people who know what it takes to get accepted (numerous profs) thought that I would get accepted, and this year I will have even more experience and hopefully more good grades. Also I never applied to the program at Queens and I think I should be able to get in and staying there wouldnt' be such a bad thing. I can do this on my own! I just have to have the confidence in myself that I know other people have (thanks stella).
I think I am supposed to go see "Little Children" with Aurora tonight but I haven't heard back from her. Maybe we will do it another night this week. I have also been organizing Bingo night with a drag queen tomorrow night and Trivia Night Tuesday. (Apparently the prize for Bingo night is a porno which was indicated in the text of the email I sent - lesson of day- read text in its entirety before you cut and paste it into an email that you are sending to 20 people)