Good thing i was alone in the car...

Because I was singing along to the radio and no one should subjected to that. Lilah was right, I needed to get out and I needed to touch base with my life. Juliet and I walked from my apt to 46th St and back- we walked along the water and it was a beautiful night and it was great to catch up with her. We talked about a ton of stuff and I realized that I'm happy. I like my friends and my life and what I am doing. We agreed that Bernard was quite the loser for falling off the face of the earth and that connections like the one I have with Arnie don't come along regularly so i should enjoy it while it lasts and that i have a fairly normal family and in that respect i am really lucky. (we also talked about her life). After our walk (and my falafel for dinner) I drove home (spoke to Aunt May on the way home- love her!) to hang out with Holden and Will. i should go to sleep because i am waking up at 6:15 to swim with Aunt Karen and then heading to the lab to run a subject for the Theory of mind experiment. Arnie said he would help me with my application essays so I think I will actually start applying to school.
I think I am living in the now and I like it. I'm not ignoring the future but I'm not ignoring the present either. Lilah had told me that when people take something instead of nothing it generally doesn't work out well for them and when I have given up something (like Caleb) I have gotten a lot- she's right but I'm not sure that is pertinent here. I think this is different and I think it is real and precious even if it's not forever. I want to maintain this connection that I have with someone I respect and admire (even though I know he is flawed) but I am not going to jeopardize my life for it. I am back to concentrating on school and research (things are going REALLY WELL with Sinai) and I think I can keep moving forward in my life and Arnie and I can both benefit from our association (either as friends or more). I don't want to think about it anymore, i just want to live my life and appreciate all the people in it.