Making progress

Aurora came to visit and I feel so much better. I talked to her about Arnie and I told her the whole story and I may have teared a bit but I was also able to see the positive. I was able to see the good things that I learned about myself and the ways in which connecting to someone was a gift and how by I benefited by opening myself up to someone.
We spoke about the Eating Disorder fundraiser and I'm excited- it's real and it is coming along and this is my idea coming to fruitition. And it's helping people already.
This weekend I start the training for Emergency Room Rape Advocacy program. I am really excited about it, I love my friends and my family (I am so blessed) and my roommate and my apt and I really like being a graduate student (I don't really mind studying when I can keep my mind on the material). Things are really good. I have stuff to do tonight for Sinai and things are really moving along with the research. I am lucky and I have a good life. I am not going to wallow in self-pity because this man that I love doesn't love me enough to put aside his fears of intimacy to be with me. It hurts me that he is so desperate to make a clean break that he won't even try to keep in touch with me. I would love to e-mail with him and speak to him and see him when he comes back in town but I suppose it is better this way. This way i can just go back to my life and maintain this precious memory of our time together. And by the end of the day his t-shirt won't smell like him and maybe soon I will be out of tears.
I am getting together with Sarah later so that should help too.