Do I really need a title?
Cooking for dinner tomorrow night. I'm feeling lazy so I'm doing Mexican- I can do it with my eyes closed and it is a great way to feed a lot of people. Joan couldn't make it tonight so I went grocery shopping, pigged out on my leftover rice and a Mike's cranberry lemonade and started cooking. And Pacey has been IMing - asking me to come over. It's an exciting life that I lead.
Today wasn't all that productive- I met Carrie for lunch and then went swimming instead of doing any school or lab work. I swam a mile, it's a great way to clear my head although I really have to start running again. I miss being able to do that but unfortunately I hate actually doing it. After swimming and hanging with Aunt Karen for a bit I went scavenging in my mom's house. Sophie called while i was on the way out so i ended up making it back to school much later than i anticipated but I was in time for stats. Spent some of stats listening and taking notes and spent some of it putting together stuff so that Arnie can help me write my essay. I really have to get started with the application process. The first applications are due December first and I haven't even selected the schools. I am not going to apply to all 20 that i applied to last year and this year I have to add a couple of safetys. Each year gets more competitive and last year the acceptance rate was 5% for some of these schools, a couple were at 2%, the "easy" ones took 8. I dont' know if I am avoiding this because I am scared or unsure or something. Last year I was so sure that I was ready to leave NY and go to Berkeley or Emory or Michigan- am I still ready to leave my friends and family and apartment? I'm happy, would leaving jeopardize that? Or is it the same thing as moving to escape your misery- wherever you are, you take yourself with you? I made these friends and I keep making more friends in school, I can make new friends at a new school and I will keep in touch with my friends here and I can come back and visit. I don't know. I love living with Stella and seeing Sarah regularly and hanging with Elle, Juliet, Aurora, Harry and Sally, Joan and Bobby, my whole downtown crew, Gracie, Casey, Simon- everyone. If I move to DC, i have Sam, Seymour, Lois and Clark (and crew) in the area and if I go to Cali, I have Lilah, Jack, River and my family and I have family in Chicago as well. I know people in every city in which the schools I applied to were located through my community stuff (with the exception of Ann Arbor) - besides Konstantin and Arnie can move to other countries (i should be able to move to another state- parenthetically, I want to see if I can find some kind of month to six week volunteer position (psych related) in another country for winter break- all suggestions and assistance are welcome and encouraged!). I should apply to schools and then worry about if I want to move to Atlanta if the oppurtunity becomes available. The reality of being able to work with Drew Westin or Matt Nock may make moving a more attractive proposition. the application process seemed really daunting last September and I procrastinated a bit but then I did it. I can do it again and there should be no real fear of failure because I failed and I survived it.
Eating Patterns have been kind of weird lately so I think I have to go back to reporting on my consumption- i'm not sure this transparency helps but it can't hurt - Today: Coffee, Cliff Nectar bar, 100 calorie bag of sun chips, hot and sour soup, shared some moo shoo chicken and orange beef with broccoli with Carrie, 2 cookies (hot out of the oven and I had to have one of each type that Karen was baking- chocolate chip and my great grandmothers flat cookies), Kind walnut date bar, halvah bar, onion soup mix rice, mike's hard cranberry lemonade. Oh and no vitamins (which also means I didn't take my prozac)
I have more on my mind but i also have more on my plate and it's getting late.
Today wasn't all that productive- I met Carrie for lunch and then went swimming instead of doing any school or lab work. I swam a mile, it's a great way to clear my head although I really have to start running again. I miss being able to do that but unfortunately I hate actually doing it. After swimming and hanging with Aunt Karen for a bit I went scavenging in my mom's house. Sophie called while i was on the way out so i ended up making it back to school much later than i anticipated but I was in time for stats. Spent some of stats listening and taking notes and spent some of it putting together stuff so that Arnie can help me write my essay. I really have to get started with the application process. The first applications are due December first and I haven't even selected the schools. I am not going to apply to all 20 that i applied to last year and this year I have to add a couple of safetys. Each year gets more competitive and last year the acceptance rate was 5% for some of these schools, a couple were at 2%, the "easy" ones took 8. I dont' know if I am avoiding this because I am scared or unsure or something. Last year I was so sure that I was ready to leave NY and go to Berkeley or Emory or Michigan- am I still ready to leave my friends and family and apartment? I'm happy, would leaving jeopardize that? Or is it the same thing as moving to escape your misery- wherever you are, you take yourself with you? I made these friends and I keep making more friends in school, I can make new friends at a new school and I will keep in touch with my friends here and I can come back and visit. I don't know. I love living with Stella and seeing Sarah regularly and hanging with Elle, Juliet, Aurora, Harry and Sally, Joan and Bobby, my whole downtown crew, Gracie, Casey, Simon- everyone. If I move to DC, i have Sam, Seymour, Lois and Clark (and crew) in the area and if I go to Cali, I have Lilah, Jack, River and my family and I have family in Chicago as well. I know people in every city in which the schools I applied to were located through my community stuff (with the exception of Ann Arbor) - besides Konstantin and Arnie can move to other countries (i should be able to move to another state- parenthetically, I want to see if I can find some kind of month to six week volunteer position (psych related) in another country for winter break- all suggestions and assistance are welcome and encouraged!). I should apply to schools and then worry about if I want to move to Atlanta if the oppurtunity becomes available. The reality of being able to work with Drew Westin or Matt Nock may make moving a more attractive proposition. the application process seemed really daunting last September and I procrastinated a bit but then I did it. I can do it again and there should be no real fear of failure because I failed and I survived it.
Eating Patterns have been kind of weird lately so I think I have to go back to reporting on my consumption- i'm not sure this transparency helps but it can't hurt - Today: Coffee, Cliff Nectar bar, 100 calorie bag of sun chips, hot and sour soup, shared some moo shoo chicken and orange beef with broccoli with Carrie, 2 cookies (hot out of the oven and I had to have one of each type that Karen was baking- chocolate chip and my great grandmothers flat cookies), Kind walnut date bar, halvah bar, onion soup mix rice, mike's hard cranberry lemonade. Oh and no vitamins (which also means I didn't take my prozac)
I have more on my mind but i also have more on my plate and it's getting late.
posted by Zoe at 11:04 PM
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