Back in the saddle

I feel like the good me again. I have been more productive than not over the past week and I set myself up for a really busy but productive semester. I am going to be taking 3-4 classes at school, research at school for credit, hopefully taking eating disorder class non-matric, working which may include facilitating the treatment group, doing adolescent assessments for the borderline inpatient study as well applying to grad school, facilitating SAVI training and taking an extra shift each month and working on the film project. And I have to find time to exercise 3-5 times a week. This week I have been just going to trainer for 30 minutes of weights and then doing 30-60 minutes of cardio. Lilah commended me on being different, being able to be moderate. I am trying to set myself up to set a sustainable schedule, a schedule that doesn't have me waking up at 5:30 am to exercise or interfere with my social life. In both diet and exercise I am trying to work on changing my habits and focusing on health and fitness. Of course I want results and I want to lose weight but I am really trying to shift my focus and trying to feel sexy and comfortable in my body regardless of its size. And it is boring to think and talk about diets all the time.
It is also good to get back in touch with my friends- people who know ME and value me. I feel funny and smart and just like me, the good me. I guess I just feel secure. I had dinner with Sarah and Elle this week and have spent time on the phone with Sam, Lois, Joan and of course Lilah. Juliet and I have been trying to make plans and hopefully I will see a lot of friends at Elle's party on Sat night. I have also just been spending time in my apt and neighborhood and hanging with Stella- I have just been living my life, the life I CHOSE, the life that I built for myself, the life that reflects my values and pursues my goals. It just feels right and I feel self- assured when I am doing it. I just feel content. I have a ton of stuff to do today and I hope I don't procrastinate (too much). I have reading to do for the brain lab and data entry but I think I might get more done if I try to do the stuff that I enjoy more as I am not in the lab or office today. I have to do some online training for CBT so it is interesting and hopefully useful soon and I have to type up notes from all of my film meetings this summer and I need to compose a film outline and proposal and budget (I had two great meetings with amazing clinicians yesterday).
I am not sure what I am doing for Shabbat- I can stay in my apt, stay in my parent's empty house or invite myself to aunt Karen's. If I want anything resembling a real shabbat experience then I have to go to Karen- I'm not sure what I want.