Maybe i'm just tired
All my training is done - I had my last meeting for it. On to my next challenges- I did my first presentation for the sexual assault program and I think I will be starting treatment with my first patient (mom of a sexually assualted girl) in a couple of weeks, and I did my first inpatient assessment- I just need to focus on school more- i still have a midterm and I have to start a 20 page paper that is due November 20th (I dont think that printing and carrying around 20 articles counts as starting).
I did go try on dresses for Holden's wedding- I didn't want to avoid it anymore- and I did feel fat in some of the dresses that didnt' fit and I didn't buy anything yet but it was progress.
Part of me is excited about the new article that was published this week about the film (we are starting filming in a couple of weeks) and about moving forward with clinical experiences and just sitting in class and learning and hanging out with my friends and my sister and my nephews and part of me is just tired and doesn't want to do it anymore. I guess I am attracted to the idea of being overcommited and crazed but then I kind of lose sight of why I am going this. I think I see my goals but I am not sure why I want them- I see why they are valuable but I am just not sure that I care. It's really weird. It may just because I haven't been sleeping well- or maybe this is why I am not sleeping well.
I don't know, I am proud of myself and the life I have built for myself and I love the people in my life and what I am doing and I love learning but I just had this moment this week where I was just disinterested. I don't why.
I had a good (read: tear filled) therapy session on Monday morning and I wonder if this is a residual of that- a way that I am working things out or something like that.
Maybe i'm just tired- I am going to Sophie for shabbat and plan to get a lot of sleep.
I did go try on dresses for Holden's wedding- I didn't want to avoid it anymore- and I did feel fat in some of the dresses that didnt' fit and I didn't buy anything yet but it was progress.
Part of me is excited about the new article that was published this week about the film (we are starting filming in a couple of weeks) and about moving forward with clinical experiences and just sitting in class and learning and hanging out with my friends and my sister and my nephews and part of me is just tired and doesn't want to do it anymore. I guess I am attracted to the idea of being overcommited and crazed but then I kind of lose sight of why I am going this. I think I see my goals but I am not sure why I want them- I see why they are valuable but I am just not sure that I care. It's really weird. It may just because I haven't been sleeping well- or maybe this is why I am not sleeping well.
I don't know, I am proud of myself and the life I have built for myself and I love the people in my life and what I am doing and I love learning but I just had this moment this week where I was just disinterested. I don't why.
I had a good (read: tear filled) therapy session on Monday morning and I wonder if this is a residual of that- a way that I am working things out or something like that.
Maybe i'm just tired- I am going to Sophie for shabbat and plan to get a lot of sleep.
posted by Zoe at 12:43 AM
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