Wigging out

This apartment situation is really wigging me out. Every since Stella told me that she was moving out when our lease was up I have been riding an emotional roller coaster. I found an apt, then it fell through, then it was OK and then I found a roommate and thought that everything was taken care of and then she bailed and then there was a possibility that Lilah would move to NY and move in with me and then it was apparent that while she might move to NY a decision was unlikely to be made in time for me to keep the apt. And then Sam posted an ad on a website and I found a roommate but it was a gay man and I thought that my parents might be reasonable and I spoke to my mom and she almost seemed like she could be convinced but then Sophie made it clear that my parents were unlikely to budge. Sam suggested that I lie to my parents since they never come over but I don't really want to lie to them on a daily basis. I think that by my next rent check I should be able to cover it on my own as I will be getting a job once I am finished with school but I don't want to antagonize my parents and seem ungrateful for all the help they have given me thus far. And now I am not even sure if it can work out in terms of the apt itself- I may just have to tell the landlady that I am not going to be keeping the apt and then I have to move out in 3 weeks without knowing where I am going. I know that I won't be homeless and I can stay with my parents or Sophie and Alex but I really don't want to. and I am feeling all kinds of anxious- like fidgety anxious, I can't sit still which is obviously a real impediment to studying. I haven't eaten anything all day and my stomach is too full of butterflies to have room for anything else. I'm waiting for potential new roomie, Justin to come out to discuss what happened when he spoke to landlady and when he saw another apartment. wow, I am really bad at waiting and uncertainty.
It's amazing how I went from feeling confident and excited this morning to feeling like this - and I know it is just my apt but all of this and other stuff distracted me yesterday and I don't think that I did well on my exam last night. I need to be able to focus so that I can study for my exam tomorrow morning and then I have to take care of a lot of stuff for Holden's wedding which is in less than a week. I hate this.