I would keep score if I knew the point system
This being strong- it ain’t for sissies. Just kidding—because I am not sure I have been doing it but I don’t think I have not been doing it. I’m just not sure.
Scorecard- Helped my brother in law with my nephew when I wanted to go to sleep, helped set up for cousin’s engagement party, interacted with guests at cousin’s engagement party, went upstairs to get book for someone when I was feeling lazy, didn’t eat cake when I was full, didn’t eat chocolate or candy before I went to bed, did eat A LOT of strawberry shortcake at engagement party, texted Jack in an attempt to make plans to hook up with him while I am in town – I am not even sure how to score it. What gets points, what loses points, what I left off the card that should have been there.
I had a really nice Shabbat, I hung out with my family and I had a good time. Tonight I just hung out with family in small and larger groups. Tomorrow is my last non-holiday day in LA.
I would like to get some work done but I still haven’t gotten any feedback on my references.
I would really love to get this fellowship. Then I feel like I would be a lot more settled. I would know where I would be for the next 4 years, I would know how I am supporting myself (mostly) during that time and hopefully at the end I will have my PhD, some publications and teaching experience. I am not sure if I can do anything to improve my chances. I don’t want to pester the professor but I want to ensure that I have made the best case for myself. Maybe I will research his publications and research tomorrow and then e-mail him about them and my availability and credentials. If this doesn’t work out I should really be looking for alternative sources of funding.
I think I should start training for a triathalon again (obviously need to work up to it) but I think being goal oriented will help me and I have been reading about the benefits of vigorous exercise. I want to exercise with a focus on health, fitness and emotional/mental benefits rather than weight loss. I want to try to eat better with a focus on health and not weight as well. And obviously I want to try to move away from emotional eating.
I was thinking today that my cousin’s wedding is in 4 months and I would like to have a boyfriend by then. I want to work toward having a set plan for school/work and work on myself and being healthy- mentally, emotionally and physically and work towards having a mature relationship. I am not sure how to go about this so all suggestions are welcome. Four months is both a long and short period of time- and I don’t expect to have a serious boyfriend, a boyfriend will do.
I should get to bed, I am going to read The Surrendered Single and see if that helps me on my journey and we’ll see if I hear back from Jack. I don’t have that much time to see him but it might be fun. I was thinking if I need to cut out hooking up (meaningless and that in the beginning of a relationship) as part of the pursuit of my four month goal- I am not sure. It’s 2007 I don’t think that hooking up with a guy means that he won’t date me, I have seen enough girls that have hooked up early on and married those guys. But is Lilah right, do guys only value what they have to work for? If I want it is that not reason enough to do it- is wanting it and fulfilling my short term desires a sign of weakness? Does it necessarily subvert my longer term goals? I really don’t know so all feedback is sincerely appreciated.
Scorecard- Helped my brother in law with my nephew when I wanted to go to sleep, helped set up for cousin’s engagement party, interacted with guests at cousin’s engagement party, went upstairs to get book for someone when I was feeling lazy, didn’t eat cake when I was full, didn’t eat chocolate or candy before I went to bed, did eat A LOT of strawberry shortcake at engagement party, texted Jack in an attempt to make plans to hook up with him while I am in town – I am not even sure how to score it. What gets points, what loses points, what I left off the card that should have been there.
I had a really nice Shabbat, I hung out with my family and I had a good time. Tonight I just hung out with family in small and larger groups. Tomorrow is my last non-holiday day in LA.
I would like to get some work done but I still haven’t gotten any feedback on my references.
I would really love to get this fellowship. Then I feel like I would be a lot more settled. I would know where I would be for the next 4 years, I would know how I am supporting myself (mostly) during that time and hopefully at the end I will have my PhD, some publications and teaching experience. I am not sure if I can do anything to improve my chances. I don’t want to pester the professor but I want to ensure that I have made the best case for myself. Maybe I will research his publications and research tomorrow and then e-mail him about them and my availability and credentials. If this doesn’t work out I should really be looking for alternative sources of funding.
I think I should start training for a triathalon again (obviously need to work up to it) but I think being goal oriented will help me and I have been reading about the benefits of vigorous exercise. I want to exercise with a focus on health, fitness and emotional/mental benefits rather than weight loss. I want to try to eat better with a focus on health and not weight as well. And obviously I want to try to move away from emotional eating.
I was thinking today that my cousin’s wedding is in 4 months and I would like to have a boyfriend by then. I want to work toward having a set plan for school/work and work on myself and being healthy- mentally, emotionally and physically and work towards having a mature relationship. I am not sure how to go about this so all suggestions are welcome. Four months is both a long and short period of time- and I don’t expect to have a serious boyfriend, a boyfriend will do.
I should get to bed, I am going to read The Surrendered Single and see if that helps me on my journey and we’ll see if I hear back from Jack. I don’t have that much time to see him but it might be fun. I was thinking if I need to cut out hooking up (meaningless and that in the beginning of a relationship) as part of the pursuit of my four month goal- I am not sure. It’s 2007 I don’t think that hooking up with a guy means that he won’t date me, I have seen enough girls that have hooked up early on and married those guys. But is Lilah right, do guys only value what they have to work for? If I want it is that not reason enough to do it- is wanting it and fulfilling my short term desires a sign of weakness? Does it necessarily subvert my longer term goals? I really don’t know so all feedback is sincerely appreciated.
posted by Zoe at 3:46 PM
3 Comments:
Take it slow, modulate the selflessness and introspection, and you'll be fine.
Thanks, I know. Modulation- what's that? I only know how to operate in extremes but I am trying to change that.
didn't say it's never in service of your goal or that u shouldn't indulge yourself if you want to. just suggested u keep an eye on it to make sure you are behaving in ways that bring you closer to what you want long term, not just in the moment. That doesn't mean that that a given indulgence NECESSARILY ill serves your long term goals,just that keeping them in mind is probably a good plan.
going in the shower now.
sont know why i just told u that.....
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