The good, the bad and the ugly
The good- I kept my diet for 2 days in a row, I deleted Dude who lost interest #1 (DWLI 1)'s number from my cell phone (along with some other people that won't be calling), went to see US Air Guitar National championship- it was insanely fun, I highly recommend it, finished Sex and Death to the Age 14 and What to do if your adolescent has an eating disorder and am making progress on the evolution of desire, having sibling night out old school style on sat night, revised abstraction instrument for Mt Sinai, have been using teeth whitening gel for 11 days consistently, have been on top of my skin care regimen, took my car for an oil change.
The bad- haven't made it to the gym in over a week, joined quick fix diet website, haven't been reading journal articles that are relevant to either research project I am working on this summer, have been getting annoyed and even angry - about manager of my building sending a curt e-mail, about co-committee members not responding to e-mails, by presence of too many people in the lab, even though my period is over and i have been trying to watch myself, my pants were no looser tonight than they were on sat night (and they were tight then)
The ugly- I saw another mouse in our apt tonight, I have been tweezing my ingrown hairs on my legs and now I have a ton of little scars and red marks, when I found out Sarah couldn't make it with me tonight, I started calling anyone I thought might be interested- people either weren't there or were busy or tired and I thought that DWLI 1 might be interested because he said he liked to do crazy things, i didn't have his number as I had deleted it yesterday and that should have detered me but I tried calling my aunt to get his number (only after I tried to reach another two people to invite them to come with me) and she wasn't home or on her cell and then I tried the other couple who set us up who thankfully were not home and I tried the white pages and there was no answer at the number I thought might be his- I have to stop doing things that i know I would be embarrassed to tell people about - I may have told myself that I can invite him as a friend and somehow it's not that weird- it's cool and confident and fun and there is no reason why we shouldn't be friends but it's crazy to call a guy you barely know to invite him for a spontaneous outing. Lilah would cringe for me and she would be right- will my days of cringeworthy impulses ever end?, I am going home for the weekend and we are eating out at family friends and cousins and I am worried that I have nothing decent to wear, I can't just show up in a jean skirt and hoodie like I do at my parent's house when I feel like I have nothing to wear.
The bad- haven't made it to the gym in over a week, joined quick fix diet website, haven't been reading journal articles that are relevant to either research project I am working on this summer, have been getting annoyed and even angry - about manager of my building sending a curt e-mail, about co-committee members not responding to e-mails, by presence of too many people in the lab, even though my period is over and i have been trying to watch myself, my pants were no looser tonight than they were on sat night (and they were tight then)
The ugly- I saw another mouse in our apt tonight, I have been tweezing my ingrown hairs on my legs and now I have a ton of little scars and red marks, when I found out Sarah couldn't make it with me tonight, I started calling anyone I thought might be interested- people either weren't there or were busy or tired and I thought that DWLI 1 might be interested because he said he liked to do crazy things, i didn't have his number as I had deleted it yesterday and that should have detered me but I tried calling my aunt to get his number (only after I tried to reach another two people to invite them to come with me) and she wasn't home or on her cell and then I tried the other couple who set us up who thankfully were not home and I tried the white pages and there was no answer at the number I thought might be his- I have to stop doing things that i know I would be embarrassed to tell people about - I may have told myself that I can invite him as a friend and somehow it's not that weird- it's cool and confident and fun and there is no reason why we shouldn't be friends but it's crazy to call a guy you barely know to invite him for a spontaneous outing. Lilah would cringe for me and she would be right- will my days of cringeworthy impulses ever end?, I am going home for the weekend and we are eating out at family friends and cousins and I am worried that I have nothing decent to wear, I can't just show up in a jean skirt and hoodie like I do at my parent's house when I feel like I have nothing to wear.
posted by Zoe at 2:18 AM
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